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Tuesday, December 11, 2001
11:06 a.m.
Sylvia
My new all-in-one Sony Vaio laptop finally made it to my lap yesterday afternoon. It was bought by my wonderful mother as a Christmas gift for me after my desktop AND old dinosaur Satellite Pro laptop crashed on me after years of loyal service. It was supposed to arrive in Manila two weeks ago, but the flight disaster in New York affected the flight schedule of the person who was supposed to bring the laptop to the Philippines. So it was one frustrated week after another for me. And just when I thought it would never get here in time for Christmas, it did. It was the biggest Christmas gift anyone had ever given me, and count on my mother to be the darling to do it. :)
I've decided to name the vaio Sylvia. Yes, after Sylvia Plath, who still remains one of my favorite poets. So far, she's been good. No hanging, no quirks. I even took her out on a "test drive" with me as I commuted to work. She's a beauty.
(For more info on Sony Vaio laptops, click here)
Last night, Larry, Ernan and I officially started our "Chase Nights." I got the idea from Ramon, who told me all about chase stories. Chase stories are written by two people who write a chapter each on one story. The catch is, they don't have a definite plot or theme. Each writer picks up from the last chapter. So the story can go anywhere.
But for us, who mostly wrote in poems, we decided to pick up a common theme and write a poem each about it. The theme we chose was "meeting in a circus." This was much inspired by the book Roustabout by Michelle Chalfoun
We forced ourselves to finish our poems, and this is how mine came out:
MOTHER MEETS HER CHILD
Father’s hand is on Mother’s belly,
its caramel stickiness seeping
into the silk of her Shanghai dress.
“I think the little one would enjoy
his first time here,” Father says,
pointing pink cotton candy stick
to the wild bloom of tents
before them. Mother
purses her lips into a small
smile, quietly watching
the red-yellow-blue tide
flow around them.
Her eyes follow a thickening
gush of hats and pigtails
toward a large tent. The sign
above says “Wonders of Nature.”
Father takes her elbow,
and they move with the others
through the dark slash
dividing wonders from the mundane:
Siamese twins joined
at the head, four-armed
knife-jugglers, spiderwomen.
But Mother only looks
at a boy on a cot, torso raised,
on pillows to align with his
enormous head. The Elephant Boy
rolls slowly to his side,
his mouth a tiny o
at the effort. Around the
glass case, children point
him out to their parents
who whisper about him
to other parents. Mother meets
his eyes. She doesn’t move
when Father puts his arm
around her shoulder.
Father touches her belly once again.
For the first time, the Child inside her stirs,
rises to the warmth of Father’s hand,
strains to see the wonder
that Mother’s heartbeat sings.
Ernan wrote about the horror train, and Larry's was about midgets. When I get copies of these, I'll surely post them here and in my website. I really felt that that kind of environment and "pressure" from each other are exactly what we need to write. Our past "writing projects" have all failed because we're incurable procrastinators. But writing together last night, in one place, gave me the energy to finish the poem. (I would usually sit on an idea or image for weeks.) So we resolved to keep up a regular writing session every week.
Wednesday, November 14, 2001
10:25 p.m.
Unconfirmed Death
I don't know if it's just me, but from this article, I would say that it's unclear whether Princess Prekshya survived the crash or not. Especially with reports of two "unidentified survivors" from the crash.
Tuesday, November 13, 2001
01:09 p.m.
Twin Tragedies
Another tragedy today in New York. Flight 587 headed towards the Dominican Republic crashed just outside JFK airport, taking down more than 200 passengers along with it, as well as several homes in a neighborhood just outside Queens. There may not be any indication at all of a terrorist attack, but this tragedy is no less devastating to the morale of New Yorkers and the rest of the world. In between fears of the anthrax virus and subsequent terrorist acts, this plane crash was the last thing that Americans (especially the New Yorkers) need. Right after Veteran’s Day, too.
Unconfirmed reports, however, mention an explosion in the plane before it crashed. But neither the FBI or the FAA can say for sure.
However, if this crash has been caused by mechanical failure, this may, at long last, move airline companies and the government to update security measures, not only from terrorist attacks, but also security from faulty engines and dated plane models.
In Nepal, the whole country is in mourning again. The helicopter carrying the princess, the only survivor of the Royal Family massacre, has crashed. The princess was being airlifted out of Nepal for treatment in the U.K., when the helicopter lost altitude and crashed. This signals both the end of Nepal’s monarchy, and its peaceful, almost utopic way of life. The Nepalese mourn not only the demise of the Royal Family, but the demise of their independence as well. Without a governing body, Nepal will surely fall into the hands of China, who had its sights set on the country-state for almost half a century.
Nepal is dead. Long live Nepal.
Sunday, November 11, 2001
02:00 a.m.
The Good with the Bad
It seems inevitable that bad news comes along with happy events.
The good news: my wonderful and talented best friend/editor/critic/confessor/boyfriend, Ramon De Veyra, along with the artist-in-yuppie’s-clothing, Mr. Harvey Ong, have recently had their comics published in the supplementary pages of MTV INK. More good news: MTV INK editor-in-chief Kristine Fonacier has expressed interest in publishing more comics from Ramon and Harvey. I'm so proud of you guys!
The bad news.
My happy days in Manila may come to an end sooner than I expected. I had planned to work with my mother in
Nigeria after summer next year in an effort to save up for further studies. However, a situation came up with my younger brother, and I have to go to Nigeria sooner to help out in his tuition expenses (he’s studying graphic design in Edinburgh, Scotland). It’s a terrible situation to be in, as I have no idea if I’ll be able to save enough money for my further studies at all. I don’t know how long I’ll have to help out in supporting him, either. Not that I don’t want to help out, but this certainly doesn’t help my chances at fulfilling part of my dream at all. That is, studying abroad for a year or two, then going back to Manila to hopefully become more viable for a high-paying job, or to become a professor.
Everything has turned topsy-turvy for me. The worst part of it is, I’ll be away from Ramon for a long time. I don’t know what’s going to happen; what the changes will be, but we’ve both decided to try and stick it out together as long as we can. It’s difficult for me, especially, because I wanted to be there when Ramon graduates, and when he spends his first summer as an "officially unemployed citizen."
But more pressing matters have to be taken care of, and I’m trying to face it as maturely as I can. Ramon has helped me a lot by being understanding and supportive, and by being his usual loving self. He’s stronger than I am when it comes to this. I just break down when I think about it too much.
My consolation is this is a chance for both of us to grow as strong, talented individuals. As my mother said, "it will widen our horizons, and put our relationship in perspective." In my heart, I have a feeling that this "bad news" will become a good experience for both me and Ramon. I have a feeling that everything will work out all right. But right now, I can’t help thinking that I will soon be apart from my best friend and the love of my life. I can already feel the lonely emptiness growing inside me.
Sunday, November 11, 2001
08:26 p.m.
Dennis Miller, a former Saturday Night Live comedian, and one of the more popular sportscasters in NFL, summed up the average white American’s attitude about the war going on in the Middle East when made this declaration at the Tonight Show with Jay Leno: “Whatever the press out there thinks about the public’s right to know…let me just have a chance to say this: we don’t want to know. Leave our boys alone. We don’t want to know.”
I can understand Miller’s concern about the effect the coverage of the war has on children. I understand they can’t comprehend it fully. I know it’s disturbing and sickening and relentless. But it’s the truth. It’s the truth, and no one can hide from it anymore. Miller is probably thinking it’s decent to leave the public with the ironed-out press releases picked clean by the government; to inform the masses only of the “victories” of American troops in destroying Taliban territory. But is this truly a call for decency, or a desire to turn away from the apparent destruction and devastation this war has caused? Is it because they don’t want to see the innocent lives---the children---who have died because of this “necessary war?”
Whatever Miller or any American thinks, they have to see everything that is happening. For once, we’ve got the technology to manage real-time coverage of any major event around the world. No one can hide anymore, especially from this war. Pearl Harbor, Nagasaki and Hiroshima, Vietnam, Korea and Iraq have been considered “tragedies” only recently. And what retribution was made for these atrocities? Big, moralizing blockbuster Hollywood movies that mesmerize filmgoers, and win Oscar awards.
Now there is no escape. The eyes of the world are on Pakistan, and whether the American public like it or not, they will see and hear the truth. They will know how many children have died, how many families lost their homes, how many refugees are starving and sick. This time, they can’t close their eyes.
I’m not saying that America is the only one at fault here. I’m not trying to paint them out to be The Bad Guy. But it’s amazing how ignorant their supposedly educated public can still be at times. And how blind. It’s not a crime to feel pride for one’s country, even to the point of being arrogant about it. But it’s not right to condone apparent mistakes and wrongdoings just because they were done by one’s countrymen. It’s not right to turn a blind eye to something as big and important as this war.
Right now, we can afford to joke and ignore the gravity of the situation, but I’m sure things will change when America and the rest of the world start getting affected with more than just the anthrax scare. What I’m saying is, if America is justified in its retaliation against the terrorists for the September 11 attacks, what makes Afghan vigilante organizations any less justified in retaliating by sabotaging US troops operations, for example, or even aiding the Taliban as their means of revenge? Do we think that these civilians will think, “My child's death was an accident. The U.S. troops meant no harm. It’s the fault of those terrorists.”? On the contrary, this may only push them to assist the Taliban. It’s a vicious cycle.
In the meantime, while I discourse here in futility, innocent lives are at stake. I’m not only talking about the children in Afghanistan, but the children of the rest of the world, as well. How can anyone explain this war to them? What do “terrorism” or “anthrax” or “retaliation” mean to them? There’s no way to explain death and fear to them. How can anyone tell them that the death of those children, children like them, were an "accident" or a necessary sacrifice? There's no way.
But it’s also amazing how full of wisdom children can be. How their patience and unquestioning understanding seem to render evil powerless.
My eleven-year-old brother, Angus, for example, wrote this touching poem that would leave any adult speechless.
SEPTEMBER ELEVEN, 2001
September eleven two thousand and one,
I heard the News that shocked everyone,
The world trade centers’ magnificent towers,
Has fallen victim to Terrorists’ powers,
I was too numb, I shed some tears.
How could anyone be so heartlessly fierce?
To take so many innocent lives,
That struck our hearts like a thousand knives!
Everyone had a question or two.
“Where is this world going to?”
Earthquakes, calamities, floods and famine!
And now comes Osama Bin Ladin!
I pray each night to the Lord above,
For his protection and His love,
And every morning when I awake,
I thank God for each new daybreak!!
Thursday, November 1, 2001
01:19 a.m.
Casualties
It's easy for most of us to support America in its "Strike Against Terror" campaign: the relentless bombings and the recent ground troop assaults in Afghanistan. After all, the September 11 terrorist attacks have been as relentless and as merciless. Even more so, because the thousands of men and women at the World Trade Center didn't even have a clue that their lives would be snuffed out or drastically changed that day. The terrorists didn't care about the families and loved ones of the people aboard the planes they hijacked and crashed into the Twin Towers. It's understandable that America has to take an aggressive position, and take action against these atrocities with military force. Who among those who lost a loved one from the terrorist attacks wouldn't want the opportunity to hold a high-power weapon in his hands and bring these terrorists to justice, however extreme?
But there is just something so wrong about violence, however justified it is, whatever cause or God is invoked for it. Ever since US President Bush declared war, something inside me shook and grew cold. In theory, Pres. Bush's decision made sense; it seemed like the best and the only option open to the world.
Then I saw this Nigeria. And suddenly, I remember why war doesn't---and will never---make sense. It takes away lives. It takes away mothers from children, children from their mothers and fathers. War, being indiscriminate in its ruthlessness, makes victims of everyone, especially the innocent. War puts the lives of billions in the hands of the very few, powerful individuals who---let's admit it---have only their personal and political interests in mind. The rest of the world becomes pawns and victims.
I don't have the answers. I'm not passing judgement on anyone. All I'm saying is look at the photograph of those dead children and their weeping loved ones. How different is their grief and loss from how we felt during the September 11 attacks? How different is the value of these lost lives from those lost in the World Trade Center ruins? How different is their tragedy?
War, this war, ANY war, is never a good option. If it can be helped, it shouldn't even be an option at all. People throughout history: Anne Frank, Elie Wiesel, Hannah Arendt, and other survivors have spoken against war.
No one should ever have to be a "necessary casualty" of war. The people of Afghanistan don't deserve to live in fear any more than we do.
Saturday, September 08, 2001
07:54 p.m.
Picking up the Crumbs
Got a little help from the great Ms. Cynthia Bauzon today. It's amazing how the small things like a kind word and advice can make all the difference. I know I have to learn beyond spoonfeeding and the cut-and-paste strategy. So to help inspire me, I went to visit websites of local talent like Indie Endaya and Adam David's Crumbs. More than ever, I am encouraged to develop my weblog site. Thank God there is enough personal virtual space for everyone, especially for the fumblings and bumblings of people like me. Whatever drawbacks people claim about the Internet, it has done nothing short of broadening my vision of the world and the countless unique, incredibly talented people that live here. It's inspiring, and at the same time, daunting. I feel that I've started so late, and there is so much catching up to do. My sojourns have also left me feeling humbled. The self-centered, egotistic, and rather naive part of myself cringes at the discovery that I don't have the monopoly on good stories and ideas; that there are people out there who have read Norwegian Wood and Sputnik Sweetheart, who know that Pavement is a name of a band, and Alan Moore is god.
But a part of myself also jumps up and shouts, "Thank God for that!"
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